Bible & Christian Jokes
Proverbs 15:13a - A glad heart makes a cheerful face (ESV)
Proverbs 17:22a - A cheerful heart is good medicine (NIV)

How could the Son of Man afford to pay it all?

• Because Jesus Saves!

Who was the richest woman in the Bible?

• Pharaoh's daughter.  She went down to the Bank of the Nile and pulled out a little prophet!

Did you know that Jesus is divine?

• Yes, its true, and we are da branches!

Do you need to build a boat?

• Because I Noah guy, he's an ark-itect.

What does believing only 12.5% of the Bible make you?

• An eighth-iest

Who is the greatest comedian in the Bible?

• Sampson!  He really brought the house down.

Did you know Jeremiah opened up a French candy store?

• Its true, he called it la-mints.

Who was the worst law breaker in the Bible?

• Moses!  He broke all 10 commandments at once!

At what time of day was Adam created?

• Just a little before eve.

What happened to the god of the Philistines?

• Dagone! (pronounced day gone)

How long did Cain despise his brother?

• As long as he was Abel!

How did Jacob's brother feel after his blessing was stolen?

• He was stewing!

How strong was the faith of the men who lowered the paralytic to be healed by Jesus?

• It was through the roof!

Who was the youngest Biblical character to use foul language?

• Job.  Because he cursed the day he was born.

Who was the best D.J. in the Bible?

• Jesus, he really turned tables.

What was good about Jacob's idea to store grain up for 7 years?

• It helped get the famine (the fam in).

What Biblical city was against the COVID mask mandate?

• Damascus

What did Adam say the day before December 25th?

• It's Christmas, Eve!

How does Moses make his coffee?

• Hebrews it!

Who was the smartest man in the Bible?

• Abraham! He knew a Lot!

What animal did Noah trust least on the ark?

• The cheetah!

What kind of man was Boaz before he married?

• Ruth-less

Which man in the Bible had no parents?

• Joshua, the son of Nun

What did Adam and Eve do after they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden?

• They raised Cain!

Who was the first person in the Bible to use computer technology?

• Moses.  He downloaded from the cloud to two tablets.

Which is the dentist's favorite hymn?

• Crown Him With Many Crowns

What was the first math assignment in the Bible?

• God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply!